Hold onto your hat and reach for your wallet

101_2213The paleoclimate record shouts to us that, far from being self-stabilizing, the Earth’s climate system is an ornery beast which overreacts even to small nudges.
   ― Wallace Smith Broecker (b. 1931), Newberry Professor, Department of Earth and Environmental Sciences, Columbia University

Hold onto your hat and reach for your wallet

Summer thunderstorms, some with locally heavy rain falls, are part of life here in the North Country, but there is much evidence to suggest violent storms and torrential rains are becoming more frequent and more severe.

The climate change argument is over if you live in this part of the world, but the discussion of what to do about it is just beginning. It is beyond the power of any one rural community to reverse or even stabilize global warming and the severe weather events it is causing, but although we cannot control it we will be forced to deal with it. Looking over the ever-increasing damage caused by torrential rain falls over the past 10 years, my thought is “hold onto your hat and reach for your wallet.”

An old farmer who grew up in this county remembers one of the most dreaded chores of his childhood: after each rainfall his father made him walk the half mile to the rain gauge mounted on a corner post of a row crop field to record the amount of precipitation. Sixty years later he still lives on the home place and has continued to check that rain gauge after every shower. He said that during his boyhood, from about 1940 to 1950, the family’s weather records show only two storms that brought rainfalls of four inches or more in a 24-hour period. “Now we have four-inch rain storms all the time,” he said.

Continue reading

Posted in global warming | Tagged | Leave a comment

Greek Oracle

Greek Oracle

The Greeks, did they see it in the stars?
Feel it in the tremblers within the earth?
Read it in dark omens of the gods?
These Hellenes, after conquering and ruling
all the world that mattered for a thousand years,
sailors of the wine dark sea, philosophers, traders,
warriors, singers and story-tellers, craftsmen,
these Greeks, did they know, any of them, even one,
that their day was over, their empire undone?
Did the oracles tell them?
Delphi: did the priests of Apollo prophesy,
in epigrams and obscurities and shadowy apothegms,
power and wealth humbled, the Parthenon hollowed?
Playwrights of hubris and nemesis, did they sense their own?
Did some solon say, “This doom is of our own making”?
Did others say, “This is the will of the gods”?
The merchants, did they say, “As long as business is good…”?
Did the farmers have their say? The prostitutes? The slaves?
When the orderly Greek world went mad, did the Greeks?
Did the hundred Hellenic tribes melded into democracy
huddle again as tribes and revile the other, kill the other?
Did the Greeks do this? The Persians? The Egyptians?
The Mongols? The Mauryan? The Hittites? The Romans? The Celts?
The Huns? The Manchu? The Inca? The Aztecs? The Iroquois?
The world turned and their moment passed.
Did they wonder, “How did it come to this?”
Do we?

 

Posted in Poetry, Uncategorized | Tagged | 2 Comments

IVORY AND GOLD

I&G Cover from AmazonIVORY
AND
GOLD
A Safari into the Sandhills
and across the Athi Plain
by Jerry Johnson

An African adventure like no other. At the start of the 20th century the British East Africa Protectorate is a beautiful but savage country. A veneer of civilization overlays a prehistoric land where a man stays alive “by dint of his courage, daring, cunning, and ferocity,” and can make a fortune smuggling ivory, gold and slaves from the jungles of the Congo to the black markets in Zanzibar.

Two American hunters, Kincaid and Gunner, are tossed back a hundred years in time and find themselves lost on East Africa’s Athi Plain where mischance – or great good fortune – makes them masters of a smugglers’ caravan on trek from the shores of Lake Victoria to the Uganda Railway at Nairobi, laden with £20,000 worth ($2.5 million) of illicit ivory, gold, and slaves.

To free the seventy natives held as slaves, they must survive assaults by askari military police, Arab slavers from Oman, Kavirondo tribal warriors, hired thugs in the streets of Mombasa, a lion’s mauling, and the mysterious wiles of a fierce and beautiful Baluba woman.

IVORY AND GOLD

MY EAST AFRICAN SAFARI was sixty years in the making.

In my childhood, Africa seized my heart and soul when I came upon the adventure novel King Solomon’s Mines on the shelves of the public library, the book that took me on a dangerous, reckless trek with the white hunter Allan Quatermain, the noble Englishman Sir Henry Curtis, and Captain Good. Soon I was reading every African adventure book I could get my hands on.

I loved the “Lost World genre” stories that the 19th century English author H. Rider Haggard created when he penned King Solomon’s Mines, and I was enchanted by the incredible tales of heroic characters’ derring-do in the unexplored and mysterious interior of Africa, a continent of uncharted wilderness, fantastic wonders of nature, magnificent animals, bizarre tribal civilizations, forgotten histories, ancient legends, primitive religions and gods, and eerie paranormal forces.

I wanted it all and vowed that someday I would set off across the trackless veldt with a caravan of ox carts and native porters, a .470 Nitro Express double rifle over my shoulder, and a million square miles of awesome and perilous lands before me.

It was years before I learned that storyteller Haggard was an author of less than stellar literary merit (although he was surely a cut above Edgar Rice Burroughs, whose Tarzan novels seemed false and contrived to me even as a 10-year-old), and he was something of a plagiarist of tales if not actual text. His novels were heavy on fantasy and light on fact; the romantic Africa he portrayed in his stories existed mostly in his imagination and the excited minds of his readers.

By the time I made this discovery, it was too late. My own mind was in a state of fevered excitement, and my imagined Africa was every bit as wild and romantic as Haggard’s. After twice devouring his King Solomon’s Mines novel I gorged myself on his follow-up book Allan Quatermain, not comprehending in my childish ignorance that Africa had changed drastically over the seventy-five years since those books were first published in the 1880s.

Hungry for more, I read Rudyard Kipling’s The Man Who Would Be King and Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. More contemporary tales – Isak Dinesen’s Out of Africa, Ernest Hemingway’s Green Hills of Africa, and Robert Ruark’s Something of Value and Horn of the Hunter – broadened my knowledge and understanding but only sharpened my appetite.

There are a hundred non-fiction travelogues, memoirs and biographies written by and about adventurers from the golden age of African exploration, and I read all I could find. African Game Trails by Theodore Roosevelt, The Man-Eaters of Tsavo by Lt. Colonel J.H. Patterson, In Wildest Africa by Peter MacQueen, On Safari by Abel Chapman, Alan Moorehead’s history books The White Nile and The Blue Nile, the Zulu wars history The Washing of the Spears by Donald R. Morris, and of course the Frederick Courteney Selous autobiographies with the ridiculously long titles: A Hunter’s Wanderings in Africa: Being a Narrative of Nine Years Spent Amongst the Game of the Far Interior of South Africa; followed by East Africa: Being the Narrative of the Last Eleven Years Spent by the Author on the Zambesi and Its Tributaries; and finally his African Nature Notes and Reminiscences.

Not until my late teens did I realize that I would never experience any of these African stories. It slowly dawned on me that while I could travel to East Africa and put my boots upon the land where these wondrous exploits and quests had played out over the previous hundred years, I could not travel back though time. As far as the romance and adventure of safari life is concerned, the Kenya of today is but a shadow of the British East Africa Protectorate of the 19th century.

I was crushed. Africa, no longer a mysterious blank space on the map but a travel brochure picturing trendy tourist destinations, receded to the periphery of my world and its colors faded. My adventuresome spirit wandered off in search of other wonderful places.

But Africa must have been stalking me over the years, refusing to let me abandon her, because one day I opened my keyboard and my fingers typed:

Simba and chui hold court nightly over his grave,
but the roar of the lion and the scream of the leopard
do not trouble his rest for he is in paradise
where all is happiness.

And I was off on Safari for the next three years. It was exciting. Wonderful and horrible. Brutal and beautiful. Harsh and romantic. I hope its story will bring you the same fascination and joy those African adventure books of my youth brought to me. Because that’s why I wrote it.

IVORY AND GOLD
A Safari into the Sandhills and across the Athi Plain
by Jerry Johnson

Cover design by Aaron Lurth

 

Posted in Africa Novel, African Adventure Novel, Safari Novel | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

Science and magic

It seems beyond belief that a surge of water could move these huge slabs of stone, this jumble of rocks and twisted trees.  I think it was done by Trolls in a drunken rage.

It seems beyond belief that a surge of water could move these huge slabs of stone, this jumble of rocks and twisted trees. I want to think it was done by magic: Trolls in a drunken rage.

Watching the columns of vapor rise, standing at the crest of our hilltop pasture at sunrise, the world is magical and I want to believe in this magic. I want to be part of it, to blend with, not understand or unravel, the fascinating mysteries of life and this beguiling land on which we live.

Science and magic

Wisps of smoke rise in the first hours of daylight from cracks and crevices in the limestone bluffs that form the steep-sloped borders of our farm. Those cloud-like columns of vapor, constantly changing shape and dissolving as they float on languid currents of warm air that rise from the lowest depths of the coulees, mark the springs and seeps where underground pools of water leak to the surface when the aquifer that underlies this land can hold no more.

Our part of the North Country has been saturated by three months of record rainfalls, capped last week by a seven-inch torrent of rain over a twenty-four hour period that caused a “once in a hundred years” flood. This is our third “hundred-year” flood in the past twenty-three years, just a coincidental and insignificant blip in the weather patterns for the climate change deniers, but for those who live in the nearby town of Decorah a serious warning of the altered atmospheric conditions brought on by global warming. The town lies in an elongated bowl of the Upper Iowa River valley, and each of those three major floods has caused millions of dollars in property damage.

Here, atop the fourth or fifth highest hill in the county, our farm is safe from flooding, unless someday a celestial voice orders me “Build an ark!” But water runoff during these record-precipitation years has washed out our driveways, culverts, fences, and wildlife habitat plantings, and super-saturation of soils has resulted in some minor mudslides, sinkholes, and of course a water-soaked cellar.

Continue reading

Posted in Floods | Tagged | 2 Comments

Bird hunting in the classic style

Abbey creeps on point when pheasants run. It took her a couple years to learn this, but she's really good at it now.

Abbey creeps on point when pheasants run. Took her a year to learn this; she’s really good at it now.

More than seventy-five years ago William Harnden Foster, the laureate of ruffed grouse hunting and a principal in the development of grouse dog field trials in New England, observed that trials for quail dogs had become “races,” so specialized in the demands placed upon the pointer’s performance (range, speed, boldness, desire, staunchness to wing and shot) that the competition was only tangentially related to actual bird hunting, even for quail much less grouse or pheasant. A field-trials pointer, he wisely advised, is not well-suited to a foot-hunter’s days afield.

Bird hunting in the classic style

Pheasants have made Abbey what she is: a pointing dog that most field trials handlers would criticize as “lacking in classic style and form.” They would be right. Because she hunts ringnecked pheasants, and pheasants do not behave in “classic style” as do bobwhite quail, those well-manner birds beloved (and rightly so) by all bird hunters and their dogs. So neither does Abbey. Nor do I want her to.

Abbey breaks point without being released. She creeps on point, carefully following the trail of a running pheasant. When she works bird scent in heavy cover she stands tall on her back legs every few minutes to keep track of me, and when she spots me she uses her body language to direct my movements. When a bird holds, she drops low on point with her tail horizontal. She is steady to wing and shot on woodcock, but not on pheasants and grouse, which she chases madly when they flush.

Continue reading

Posted in Bird Dogs, Bird hunting | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Hunting camp faux pas

IMG_2189Friendship is a curious thing. Handle it like crystal and it will become cloudy, turn brittle and soon shatter. Kick it around like a football and it will get scuffed, battered and worn but will still be ready for game day after fifty years.

Hunting camp faux pas

It’s not that the Over the Hill Gang of bird hunters are a bunch of unthinking, insensitive louts…

Well, actually, we are a bunch of unthinking, insensitive louts, but we don’t intend to be. Every one of us is good at heart, but we are also outspoken, frequently at the precise wrong moment, or about a taboo subject. Especially after overdoses of what the Senator calls “tongue oil.”

Because of our awkward predilection for speaking the obvious truth (as we see it) at social gatherings, we are not to be trusted in polite company. Fortunately hunting camp is not the venue for polite social functions. The OTH Gang dishes out, and is served, a daily menu of barbs, digs, jibes, slurs, insinuations, demeaning double entendres, brutal character assassinations, outright defamations, and raw insults.

Continue reading

Posted in Friendship, Hunting Humor | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Fitness, fatigue, and fools

IMG_2176

Fatigue makes fools of us all!
– Conrad Steele, Ohio State University lacrosse coach, 1967-73

Fitness, fatigue, and fools

Lacrosse provided several opportunities for me to play the fool, none more memorable than a full-length, all-out face plant in a scrimmage that cost my team a sure goal. As with many moments of humiliation, this one granted me a life lesson.

Playing crease attack, a rookie clad in a gray pinnie and helmet (no pads), I had outmaneuvered the defenseman and had an open shot on goal from two feet outside the crease, challenged only by an inexperienced goalie. With a deft switch of the stick from lefty to righty, I cocked my body for the shot and… tripped, stumbled and splatted full on my face, the ball jouncing out of the webbed pocket of the stick and rolling meekly past the goal.

I lay there, embarrassed and panting with exhaustion near the end of an hour-long practice session that had demanded constant movement and intensity. The coach stepped on the head of my stick (they were made of wood in those days), looked down at me with an expression of disgust, and loudly proclaimed, “Fatigue makes fools of us all!”

Continue reading

Posted in Fitness, Uncategorized | Tagged | 5 Comments

Beer’s magical powers

Beer glasses 2016BEER!
Helping ugly people have sex for more than 5,000 years
                           — slogan seen on a T-shirt

Yes, there are better things in life than beer, but beer is our compensation for not being able to get any of those better things.
 

Beer’s magical powers

Beer. I drink a lot of beer. Not the “two 12-packs every week” definition of a lot that would have your clinician frantically scribbling notes on your medical records, but the “two tall mugs on date night” definition that has your spouse cautioning, “You know, you drink a lot of beer.”

There was a time in my life when I did not drink beer. That was in the days when my foremost aspiration was to play second base for the Cincinnati Reds. Some Babe Ruth League coach told me that drinking and smoking would end any chance I had of ever stepping onto a major league baseball field, and in my youthful naiveté I believed him.

Shortly after my last game of organized baseball, I drank my first beer and discovered that I had been cruelly deceived, made the victim of a malicious hoax. In retrospect, I realized the only chance I once had of playing professional baseball depended upon my consumption of huge quantities of beer.

Sure, I never would have made the major leagues anyway, but until my dying day I would have believed that I had the talent to be in the Reds’ starting line-up. That’s just one of the many graces that beer grants us.

Continue reading

Posted in Beer | Tagged | Leave a comment

July practice

Bow practice

Two days ago, after a week of rainstorms and high winds, a 10-point buck and an 8-point buck, both with antlers still in velvet, were eating blown-down apples under our apple tree. In the middle of the afternoon. Fifty feet from the house. So, yesterday I decided it was time to start practicing for the October games. (photo by Patti Johnson)

Posted in Bow Hunting, Bow Hunting. Deer Hunting | Tagged | Leave a comment

Last call

Herco SandhillsIt is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true; it’s called ‘Life.’
from the novel The Last Continent by Terry Pratchett (1948-2015), English author of fantasy novels

Last call

It is still months away, my next, and perhaps my last, journey to the Nebraska Sandhills to hunt sharptail grouse and prairie chickens, but the anticipation and longing for another adventure in that country have already become smoldering embers in the tinderbox of my bird hunter’s imagination. The first breeze from the west that carries the scent of autumn this year will set my mind afire with bright remembrances of Sandhills hunts of the past and burning hopes for just one more glorious week among the dunes and prairie potholes.

How many September and October days have my dogs and I hiked the Sandhills in search of grouse? At least a hundred. Maybe two hundred. Dating back forty years now. But we have not made the journey for several years, choosing instead to hunt grasslands in South Dakota and North Dakota.

Continue reading

Posted in Bird Guns, Bird hunting, Grouse hunting. Springer spaniels. Bird Dogs, Hunting Memories | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment