Not for human consumption

Fridge photoNot for human consumption

An oft-told bird hunter’s joke, but worth retelling.

Old bird hunter Bill comes home from a long day afield and finds his wife is out for the evening. He opens the refrigerator and discovers she has left a bowl of stew for him to eat. He heats it in the microwave and hogs it down with a couple hard rolls.

His wife comes home and he tells her, “The stew you left in the fridge for me was excellent.”

“That wasn’t stew,” she says. “That was the left overs of a can of dog food from yesterday.”

“Well, it was damned good,” Bill insists. “Next time you go to the grocery, buy me more.”

In the checkout line the grocer looks at her dozen cans of dog food and asks, “Did you get another dog?”

“No. Bill ate some of this by accident, loved it, and wants more.”

“This is not approved for human consumption,” the grocer warns her.

“Tell that to Bill,” she says. “He’s eating three or four cans every week.”

A month later she’s going through the grocery checkout line with only one can of dog food in her cart.

“Did Bill get sick eating this stuff and wise up?” the grocer asks.

“Not exactly. Last week he was lying on the deck licking his balls, fell off into the rock garden, fractured his skull and died.”


About Jerry Johnson

Curmudgeon. Bird hunter and dog trainer. Retired journalist and college public relations director. Former teacher, coach, mentor. Novelist and short story writer. Husband, father, grandfather.
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